Yesterday (June 21st) we received the call that we've been awaiting since we first received Zachary's referral...we have been approved to travel to South Korea to adopt our son. It took a little longer than we originally expected (5 1/2 months), but we're grateful that we're very close to seeing Zachary for the first time.
On Thursday (June 24th), we depart for Seoul, South Korea. We'll spend a couple of days sightseeing in Seoul, then on Tuesday at 10:00am we will meet Zachary for the first time.
Even though our son is half a world away, he has been in our hearts from the first day we saw his photograph. We love him dearly even though we haven't met him. In less than a week we will finally bridge the divide that has separated us and welcome him into our arms.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
The Incomplete Nursery
This will be a post heavy on photos and light on words.
The most important news is that we are very, very close to our travel call. Last Friday, Laura received a call from our social worker. When families are this close to traveling, they are always expecting that a call from a social worker may be "the call" saying that they can travel. The social workers at our agency are sensitive to this, so they let us know right away whether it's "the call" or not. When Laura picked up the phone our social worker started by saying, "This isn't the call". This wasn't the news that she wanted to hear. Our social worker had called to let us know that we needed to complete an additional piece of paperwork (Class B Waiver). Basically, the waiver is to acknowledge that Zachary had a medical condition at birth. This was something we already new about and had been corrected surgically, but we had to sign a form stating that we were already aware of the medical condition. Unfortunately, the form had to be signed in person and notarized at our adoption agency in Baltimore. We were told that if the form was completed before 2:00pm, it would go out with their normal courier delivery. Otherwise it would have to wait until next week. Not wanting any additional delays, Laura called me at work to let me know. I rushed home from work and we drove up to Baltimore, arriving with 1 hour to spare before the courier arrived.
When signing our paperwork, the associate administrator gave us some good news...she handed us a copy of his medical examination for immigration. Up until that point, we didn't know that Zachary had completed his physical. The physical is normally the final step before a child is allowed to travel. It sounds like the physical is what generated the need for the Class B Waiver. When the Class B Waiver arrives in Korea and is added to his paperwork, that should complete everything. We estimate that we'll receive the travel call this coming week or early the following week. We'll be cutting it close, but we should be home with Zachary just in time for his first birthday.
Now for the photos...
We've been getting many questions about Zachary's nursery. Everybody was interested in seeing how we decided to decorate. Over the past several months, we slowly worked together to get it just right, pouring all our love into his room. From top to bottom, we did a total makeover. Here are the results...
The most important news is that we are very, very close to our travel call. Last Friday, Laura received a call from our social worker. When families are this close to traveling, they are always expecting that a call from a social worker may be "the call" saying that they can travel. The social workers at our agency are sensitive to this, so they let us know right away whether it's "the call" or not. When Laura picked up the phone our social worker started by saying, "This isn't the call". This wasn't the news that she wanted to hear. Our social worker had called to let us know that we needed to complete an additional piece of paperwork (Class B Waiver). Basically, the waiver is to acknowledge that Zachary had a medical condition at birth. This was something we already new about and had been corrected surgically, but we had to sign a form stating that we were already aware of the medical condition. Unfortunately, the form had to be signed in person and notarized at our adoption agency in Baltimore. We were told that if the form was completed before 2:00pm, it would go out with their normal courier delivery. Otherwise it would have to wait until next week. Not wanting any additional delays, Laura called me at work to let me know. I rushed home from work and we drove up to Baltimore, arriving with 1 hour to spare before the courier arrived.
When signing our paperwork, the associate administrator gave us some good news...she handed us a copy of his medical examination for immigration. Up until that point, we didn't know that Zachary had completed his physical. The physical is normally the final step before a child is allowed to travel. It sounds like the physical is what generated the need for the Class B Waiver. When the Class B Waiver arrives in Korea and is added to his paperwork, that should complete everything. We estimate that we'll receive the travel call this coming week or early the following week. We'll be cutting it close, but we should be home with Zachary just in time for his first birthday.
Now for the photos...
We've been getting many questions about Zachary's nursery. Everybody was interested in seeing how we decided to decorate. Over the past several months, we slowly worked together to get it just right, pouring all our love into his room. From top to bottom, we did a total makeover. Here are the results...
Jungle Theme with Yellow and Green Walls
East meets West: Korean Lantern and Quote from Winnie the Pooh
Quilt Won at 2009 Adoption Picnic
We Can't Wait to Read Him Stories
Artwork from Laura's Childhood
America and Korea (flip it over to see the difference)
The nursery turned out even better than we had hoped, but the room is still incomplete...it's missing our son Zachary. We're hopeful that in a couple of weeks he'll be home with us and the nursery will be complete.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
"Have you heard anything yet?"
"Have you heard anything yet?"
This is the most common phrase we've heard over the last few months. When I wrote our last blog update, I thought that we were within a month of getting the call to travel to Korea, but little did we know that everything wouldn't go as expected.
Since our baby shower, much has changed. First, Laura had her last day at work. When we received our referral for Zachary, we starting discussing how much longer Laura would remain at work. We knew that at some point we would receive our travel call and would have to quickly drop everything to travel to Korea. Knowing that Laura wouldn't have enough time to give her two week notice after our travel call, she decided that she would decide on her final day of work in advance so that we would be able to travel as quickly as possible once we received our travel call. She had her last day of work on April 10th. It was a difficult time for her because she loved her job very much, but knowing that we would soon be united with our son helped reduce the pain of her loss.
Shortly after Laura had her last day of work, we had to deal with our second loss...we had to say good-bye to our precious cat Critter. At almost 21 years old, Critter had a great life and brought us immense joy and happiness. Two years earlier we said good-bye to our other cat, Gizmo (nearly 19 years old). We never thought that Critter would survive her by 2 years. We were thankful for each additional day we had with her, but still miss her and her sister very much.
After a tough month of two losses and continued adoption delays, it became more and more difficult to hear the words..."Have you heard anything yet?". We knew that people were asking us this question because they loved us and wanted more than anything for us to be with our son. Even though it wasn't always easy to hear those words, we knew that we had the love and support of all our friends and family that would help carry us through.
Despite our losses and setbacks, we continued to remain positive and decided to start our "mini adoption journey" as we waited for news about Zachary. We knew that at some point we would want to have pets again, but we originally thought that we would wait until Zachary was home before adopting a pet. As the days went by, we knew something was missing from our empty home. There was no way we could replace Critter and Gizmo, but there was room in our hearts for other pets. We slowly started looking for a new addition to our family. After searching, we decided that we wanted to adopt a sibling pair. We found two beautiful female cats. Here are the newest additions to our family (Zachary's furry little sisters).
Though much had changed over the past two months, one item had remained the same..."we haven't heard anything yet". But finally that changed today. After a wait that was longer than expected, we finally received some great news. Today we were notified by our social worker that the Emigration Permit (EP) has been completed for Zachary. I won't go into details about the EP, but basically it means that he is very close to receiving approval from the Korean government to travel. Our social worker told us that we can expect to travel in 2-4 weeks.
After many months of hearing the words "Have you heard anything yet?", we're finally able to say "yes". We know that there are only a few weeks separating us from our son. The first part of our adoption journey is almost at an end. Before we know it, we'll be meeting our son for the first time, holding him in our arms, and bringing him home.
After that, the parenting journey begins. We can't wait!!!
This is the most common phrase we've heard over the last few months. When I wrote our last blog update, I thought that we were within a month of getting the call to travel to Korea, but little did we know that everything wouldn't go as expected.
Since our baby shower, much has changed. First, Laura had her last day at work. When we received our referral for Zachary, we starting discussing how much longer Laura would remain at work. We knew that at some point we would receive our travel call and would have to quickly drop everything to travel to Korea. Knowing that Laura wouldn't have enough time to give her two week notice after our travel call, she decided that she would decide on her final day of work in advance so that we would be able to travel as quickly as possible once we received our travel call. She had her last day of work on April 10th. It was a difficult time for her because she loved her job very much, but knowing that we would soon be united with our son helped reduce the pain of her loss.
Shortly after Laura had her last day of work, we had to deal with our second loss...we had to say good-bye to our precious cat Critter. At almost 21 years old, Critter had a great life and brought us immense joy and happiness. Two years earlier we said good-bye to our other cat, Gizmo (nearly 19 years old). We never thought that Critter would survive her by 2 years. We were thankful for each additional day we had with her, but still miss her and her sister very much.
Critter
Gizmo
Despite our losses and setbacks, we continued to remain positive and decided to start our "mini adoption journey" as we waited for news about Zachary. We knew that at some point we would want to have pets again, but we originally thought that we would wait until Zachary was home before adopting a pet. As the days went by, we knew something was missing from our empty home. There was no way we could replace Critter and Gizmo, but there was room in our hearts for other pets. We slowly started looking for a new addition to our family. After searching, we decided that we wanted to adopt a sibling pair. We found two beautiful female cats. Here are the newest additions to our family (Zachary's furry little sisters).
Maggie
Sophie
Though much had changed over the past two months, one item had remained the same..."we haven't heard anything yet". But finally that changed today. After a wait that was longer than expected, we finally received some great news. Today we were notified by our social worker that the Emigration Permit (EP) has been completed for Zachary. I won't go into details about the EP, but basically it means that he is very close to receiving approval from the Korean government to travel. Our social worker told us that we can expect to travel in 2-4 weeks.
After many months of hearing the words "Have you heard anything yet?", we're finally able to say "yes". We know that there are only a few weeks separating us from our son. The first part of our adoption journey is almost at an end. Before we know it, we'll be meeting our son for the first time, holding him in our arms, and bringing him home.
After that, the parenting journey begins. We can't wait!!!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
An Early Shower For An Early Flower?
As the saying goes, "April showers bring May flowers". In our case, we're hoping that a March shower may bring an April flower...our son Zachary.
On Sunday, March 21st, we had our baby shower. It was a wonderful day that we won't soon forget. But before I describe the day, I'm going to go back a few months to set the stage.
Shortly after we received our referral for Zachary, Laura and I started talking about what we would like to do for our baby shower. Our dear friend Candy had already told us that she wanted to plan our baby shower, so we didn't have to worry about anything. Very quickly, we decided that we didn't want to have a traditional baby shower. Since our adoption of Zachary was the beginning of our family, we wanted to celebrate this by having a baby shower that I call a "family style" baby shower. We decided that we didn't want our baby shower to include just women or be a couple's baby shower. We chose to have a baby shower with families...women, men, and children.
After deciding on the type of baby shower, we started searching for the perfect baby invitation. We chose an invitation that was a cross between a baby shower invitation and a baby announcement. The invitation wasn't just a way to invite people to the shower; it was a way for us to introduce our son to the family and friends that we love. The invitation included a magnet with a picture of Zachary sitting in his bumbo seat (taken at 5 1/2 months) and the following wording:
Once the invitations were sent, all we had to do was wait for the special day to arrive. We knew the baby shower was in capable hands with Candy and her family of helpers. Over the coming weeks, she started receiving responses. She kept most of the responses a secret so that we would be surprised when everybody arrived at the shower. About a week before the shower, Laura started to wonder if her parents might try to surprise us by arriving even though they said they weren't able to make it. She knew that her dad said that he had to work that weekend, but she began to suspect that she wasn't getting the truth. She talked to them several times during the week and they continued to deny that they would be at the shower. The Friday before the shower, I received a call from Laura's dad. He asked me what we were doing that evening. Now I was starting to wonder if they were planning something. At this point, my curiosity overcame my good senses. I decided to do some online research to see if the story that her parents told us really checked out. I found that the reasons that Laura's dad gave for not being able to attend the shower were not true. I told Laura. I won't go into all the details of the next 24 hours, but in the end her parents and brother showed up at our house on Saturday afternoon. Their plan had been to show up at the shower and surprise us. Unfortunately, I ruined that surprise.
Now that Laura's parents were here, we decided to make the most of our time together. Since it was late in the afternoon, we started to discuss going out for supper. I'm not sure who made the suggestion, but it was decided that we should go to a Korean restaurant. Laura's parents had never tried Korean food, so we wanted their first experience to be a positive one. We chose to eat at Han Gang in Annandale, Virginia. Laura and I had been there several times and always enjoyed our meals. Since it was her parent's first time eating Korean food, we suggested that we all share a Korean barbecue...a good introduction to Korean cuisine for people that want to start slowly. We chose several meats including bulgogi (marinated thinly sliced beef) and galbi (beef short ribs). While the waitress was cooking the meats at our table we also had a variety of panchan (a variety of small dishes of food) including the most famous dish in Korea...kimchi (spicy fermented cabbage). Laura's parents were very open to trying all of the foods. Their favorite was the bulgogi. We had a nice evening and were happy to share a little bit of Zachary's culture with Laura's family.
We awoke on Sunday morning to a beautiful sunny day...a perfect day for a baby shower. The shower was at 2:00pm. We gathered up everything we needed for the shower and headed over to our community center about 30 minutes early to get ready. When we walked in, we were both overcome with emotions. Candy and her family had done a great job setting up the room. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.
On Sunday, March 21st, we had our baby shower. It was a wonderful day that we won't soon forget. But before I describe the day, I'm going to go back a few months to set the stage.
Shortly after we received our referral for Zachary, Laura and I started talking about what we would like to do for our baby shower. Our dear friend Candy had already told us that she wanted to plan our baby shower, so we didn't have to worry about anything. Very quickly, we decided that we didn't want to have a traditional baby shower. Since our adoption of Zachary was the beginning of our family, we wanted to celebrate this by having a baby shower that I call a "family style" baby shower. We decided that we didn't want our baby shower to include just women or be a couple's baby shower. We chose to have a baby shower with families...women, men, and children.
After deciding on the type of baby shower, we started searching for the perfect baby invitation. We chose an invitation that was a cross between a baby shower invitation and a baby announcement. The invitation wasn't just a way to invite people to the shower; it was a way for us to introduce our son to the family and friends that we love. The invitation included a magnet with a picture of Zachary sitting in his bumbo seat (taken at 5 1/2 months) and the following wording:
Zachary Holden Se-hun Townsend
Born July 9, 2009 in Seoul, South Korea
A little boy born in a far away land,
God has chosen us to hold his hand.
Our new little boy has so much love to share
Our new little boy has so much love to share
a little blessing forever in our care.
Join us in a couples baby shower for
Daniel & Laura Townsend
Sunday, March 21st, 2010 (2:00– 4:00 p.m.)
Hampshire Neighborhood Center
6006 Hampshire Circle
Waldorf, MD 20603
Hosted by Candy & Jason Vestal
RSVP to Candy by March 7th
* Children are welcome *
Once the invitations were sent, all we had to do was wait for the special day to arrive. We knew the baby shower was in capable hands with Candy and her family of helpers. Over the coming weeks, she started receiving responses. She kept most of the responses a secret so that we would be surprised when everybody arrived at the shower. About a week before the shower, Laura started to wonder if her parents might try to surprise us by arriving even though they said they weren't able to make it. She knew that her dad said that he had to work that weekend, but she began to suspect that she wasn't getting the truth. She talked to them several times during the week and they continued to deny that they would be at the shower. The Friday before the shower, I received a call from Laura's dad. He asked me what we were doing that evening. Now I was starting to wonder if they were planning something. At this point, my curiosity overcame my good senses. I decided to do some online research to see if the story that her parents told us really checked out. I found that the reasons that Laura's dad gave for not being able to attend the shower were not true. I told Laura. I won't go into all the details of the next 24 hours, but in the end her parents and brother showed up at our house on Saturday afternoon. Their plan had been to show up at the shower and surprise us. Unfortunately, I ruined that surprise.
Now that Laura's parents were here, we decided to make the most of our time together. Since it was late in the afternoon, we started to discuss going out for supper. I'm not sure who made the suggestion, but it was decided that we should go to a Korean restaurant. Laura's parents had never tried Korean food, so we wanted their first experience to be a positive one. We chose to eat at Han Gang in Annandale, Virginia. Laura and I had been there several times and always enjoyed our meals. Since it was her parent's first time eating Korean food, we suggested that we all share a Korean barbecue...a good introduction to Korean cuisine for people that want to start slowly. We chose several meats including bulgogi (marinated thinly sliced beef) and galbi (beef short ribs). While the waitress was cooking the meats at our table we also had a variety of panchan (a variety of small dishes of food) including the most famous dish in Korea...kimchi (spicy fermented cabbage). Laura's parents were very open to trying all of the foods. Their favorite was the bulgogi. We had a nice evening and were happy to share a little bit of Zachary's culture with Laura's family.
We awoke on Sunday morning to a beautiful sunny day...a perfect day for a baby shower. The shower was at 2:00pm. We gathered up everything we needed for the shower and headed over to our community center about 30 minutes early to get ready. When we walked in, we were both overcome with emotions. Candy and her family had done a great job setting up the room. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.
Table at the room entrance (everybody signed the mat around his picture)
Table decorations
Notice the small cards containing words written in English and Hangul
The cake table (including a couple of photos of us)
Close-up of the cake
Gift tables
The baby shower started a little late (we couldn't help mingling with everybody). Candy kicked things off by welcoming everybody. Next, we got to enjoy some great food. We had sandwiches, chips, meatballs, macaroni and cheese, fruit salad, vegetables, and home-made punch. Laura and I ate first then made our way around to all the tables to get our pictures taken with everybody. After that, we started opening our gifts. As you can see from the pictures above, we have very generous family and friends. We received many cute outfits, fun toys, and practical items too. It was a great mix. There were also a number of cards that had some special messages that brought tears to our eyes on more than one occasion. In particular, my sister, her husband, our nieces and nephew sent us a hand-made card with the following poem...
Family Tree
We've add to our family tree,
a stronger one to make...
A child from another plant,
has become our new namesake.
Just as a limb is grafted
from one tree to another...
It alters and improves the plant,
making it uniquely, like no other.
Our family tree has been improved,
adoption made this so...
For love, much more than bloodlines,
makes us thrive and grow.
You chose to share your life and love,
and all the joys to come...
Our "Family Tree" has blossomed,
with the arrival of your son!
It took us quite a while to open the presents, so at 3:30 we took a little break to play a quick game. Candy handed out a piece of paper to everybody and asked people to correctly spell Zachary's Korean first name. To our surprise, 7 people got it right. We were impressed that so many people not only knew his Korean name, but were also able to spell it correctly. For the record, his Korean name (and the name we will use for his second middle name) is Se-hun. The shower ended around 4:15 as we gave our tearful thanks to everybody.
It was a very special day that was everything we hoped it would be and more. As we sort through the gifts and finish getting his room ready, we realize that we are another step closer to traveling to be with our son. We're hoping that our wonderful March shower will bring us our little April flower.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Two Whirlwind Months
Just over two months ago, we received our referral for Zachary. I intended on updating the blog with the latest information, but it always seemed like there was something more important that needed to be done. I'm sure all of the parents reading this will tell me it's great practice for what is to come...too much to do and not enough time to do it all. A few days ago we received updated information on Zacharay so I figured it was time to get everything down in writing as soon as possible.
After receiving our referral, we scheduled a meeting with our social worker to discuss what we had to do for the next phase of the adoption. We met with her on January 15th. The majority of the meeting was used to explain the next round of adoption paperwork that we would need to complete. We also talked about some of the things we would need to do when we bring Zachary home (for example, writing status reports and a visit to our home from our social worker). After the meeting, we knew that our first priority was to get our paperwork completed as quickly as possible so that it wouldn't slow down the process of bringing Zachary home. While the paperwork wasn't as extensive as the initial adoption paperwork, there was still much to do. To give you an idea of what we had to do, here's a list of the primary documents that we had to complete:
Even though we had a lot of paperwork to complete, we still had many other things we wanted to do. Most important to us was sending a small care package to Zachary and his foster family. As soon as we received his referral, we knew we wanted to send him a few special items that he could enjoy and be his first connection to us. After much searching, we came up with the following items...
With our receipt of Zachary's referral, we realized that we had to get on the ball and get his nursery put together. We had already ordered his furniture (see earlier post) and received a call from Great Beginnings that the furniture was ready for deliver. Before they delivered everything, we wanted to make sure that we cleaned all of the "junk" out of his room so that we could get it painted. We decided to go with two wall colors with the facing wall sharing the same color. We took his bedding with us to the local Lowes store to make sure we got the exact colors that we wanted. We settled on "dusty yellow" and "guacamole". We brought home all the supplies and over the next week, we spent most of our free time getting the room ready. I started by putting a fresh coat of white paint on the ceiling and installing a ceiling fan. After that, Laura and I worked together putting down a coat of primer than two coats of paint on each wall. We finished up by repainting the closet doors, room door, and window trim. We completed it near the end of January, just in time for his furniture to be delivered on February 3rd. Now we're working on all the final decorating to make his room is extra special. Once that's done, I'll update the blog with photos.
Amidst all the happiness of getting everything ready for Zachary, there was also a tiny bit of sadness. A while ago, Laura and I talked about whether she would like to go back to work or not after we bring Zachary home. Because our journey towards parenthood has been a long one, we knew that we wanted to be there as much as possible to experience every part of Zachary's life. After discussing it in depth, we decided that the best choice for us as a family was for Laura to be a stay-at-home mom. At the end of January, she decided that her last day at work would be April 10th. It was a bittersweet moment when she gave her notice to her district manager. Even though she was sad that she was losing a job that she had loved for over 8 years, she knew she was gaining so much more with our son.
As the reality of the referral continued to sink in, we realized that there were a lot of items that we would need in order to take care of Zachary when we bring him home. We made several visits to a couple of baby stores and did a lot of research in our Baby Bargains book so that we could figure out what we needed. We had a lot of fun registering for all the essentials (and also some fun items) as we imagined what it would be like to have Zachary with us. At the same time, our close friend Candy started planning for our family baby shower that will take place in just two weeks on March 21st.
During the last two months, we also received a couple of updates that provide information about Zachary's development. In some ways it can be sad to see this information because we know we're not there to witness and share in all of his progress, but it also brings us so much joy to read about his accomplishments. Each report is another connection between us. The first report was written on January 15th. It started out with information about his height (24 inches) and weight (17.2 pounds) from late December. His development is going well. Here are some of the more interesting comments:
On top of the updates, we also received another photo of him. As I said earlier, we sent a care package to him at the beginning of February. When we received his photo, we knew that the care package was received because the picture was of him, his foster mother (this was our first chance to see a picture of her), and his "exploration" of the items in the package.
Our experience of the past two months closed out last week as we attended our monthly PIPs meeting and also celebrated a Korean holiday. The PIPs meeting was last Tuesday (March 2nd). Prior to the meeting, we attended a Korea travel meeting that was led by several families who had recently traveled to pick up their children. They shared a wealth of information about what they learned including airline reservations, places to stay, and the experience of meeting their child for the first time. After the travel meeting, we had our regular PIPs meeting. We started out be welcoming home three children (2 from Korea and 1 from China). It was extra special for us because one of the couples lives close to us and we've quickly become good friends with them. It was great getting to see little John for the first time. The final part of the meeting was a presentation about adoption lifebooks. A lifebook is a book that you put together to share with your child to explain his/her adoption story. It's meant to be a private book that contains information about the child's birth, birth parents, country of birth, and other information about their adoption story. The focus of the book is on the child's story, not the adoptive parents story. The lifebook helps the child to understand their personal adoption story and gives them a sense of identity, showing them that their life didn't just start when they were adopted.
We ended up this week as we celebrated the Lunar New Year at a local Korean church. The celebration was supposed to occur in February but was rescheduled to yesterday due to the blizzard we experienced in February. It ended up being a perfect day. We decided to invite Laura's brother so that we could share a little bit of the Korean culture with him. The celebration was organized by a group called Korean Focus. The group promotes Korean culture with a focus on the Korean-American and adoptive family communities in the Washington DC area.
As soon as we arrived, we felt right at home. There were many adoptive families with Korean born children. We could imagine what it will be like when we bring Zachary in future years. We started by mingling with everybody, getting to know some of the families. Zachary quickly became the topic of discussion as Laura shared her "brag book" with his photos. Even Uncle Pat got involved as he kept suggesting that we share Zachary's pictures with anybody that was interested. It was wonderful experiencing the joy and excitement of family, friends, and total strangers. It's amazing to have so much support.
We enjoyed some Korean food for lunch, then went to watch the opening ceremonies which included both the Korean and American national anthems, a Korean traditional fan dance, and a Korean pop music dance performance. After the opening ceremonies, we decided to explore all of the activities that were offered. We learned about Sebae which is a New Year's bow that is performed to elders to show respect. A little 3 year old girl dressed in a traditional hanbok performed the bow and wished us a happy new year (speaking in Korean). She was so cute!!! After that, we went to see Korean calligraphy. We told them our American names and they wrote them for us in Hangul (the Korean alphabet). We also asked them to write Zachary's Korean name (Se-hun) which led us to sharing his pictures with a Korean woman. When she saw him, she got very emotional and thanked us repeatedly for sharing the pictures with her. As she handed the pictures back to Laura, she bowed, kissed the photo book, and thanked us. We could tell it really meant a lot to her. We're not sure if she had a previous experience with adoption or if she was just thankful that a child of her heritage was going to be loved and cared for. It was a very emotional moment that we didn't expect to experience but will always remember.
As you can see, the last two two months have been filled with wonderful chaos. We continue to stay busy getting ready for the big changes that will come and hope that in another two months we'll be travelling to see Zachary to bring him home.
After receiving our referral, we scheduled a meeting with our social worker to discuss what we had to do for the next phase of the adoption. We met with her on January 15th. The majority of the meeting was used to explain the next round of adoption paperwork that we would need to complete. We also talked about some of the things we would need to do when we bring Zachary home (for example, writing status reports and a visit to our home from our social worker). After the meeting, we knew that our first priority was to get our paperwork completed as quickly as possible so that it wouldn't slow down the process of bringing Zachary home. While the paperwork wasn't as extensive as the initial adoption paperwork, there was still much to do. To give you an idea of what we had to do, here's a list of the primary documents that we had to complete:
- Acknowledgement of Child Information (acknowledgement that we received specific informaiton about Zachary)
- Adoption Placement Agreement (list of policies and items that we agree to abide by in order to proceed with the adoption)
- Parent Escort Travel Form (statement that we intend to travel to Korea and escort Zachary home)
- Statement of Adoption (statement that we intend to adopt Zachary...this is used to assist with the issuance of his emigration passport)
- I-864 Affidavit of Support (form filed with Citizenship and Immigration Service (CIS) that is used to sponsor Zachary's immigration)
- Birth Certificates and Marriage Certificate
- Tax Returns
- I-600 Visa Petition (form filed with CIS to classify Zachary as an immediate relative)
Even though we had a lot of paperwork to complete, we still had many other things we wanted to do. Most important to us was sending a small care package to Zachary and his foster family. As soon as we received his referral, we knew we wanted to send him a few special items that he could enjoy and be his first connection to us. After much searching, we came up with the following items...
- An infant photo book that contained photos of us, Critter, the house, and Zachary
- A small stuffed moose (a little touch of Maine) with rattle and teething rings
- A fleece blanket that matches the bedding in his room
- Two disposable cameras (with the hope that we'll get some photos of him and his foster family)
- A beautify book of watercolor images of the DC area for his foster family
With our receipt of Zachary's referral, we realized that we had to get on the ball and get his nursery put together. We had already ordered his furniture (see earlier post) and received a call from Great Beginnings that the furniture was ready for deliver. Before they delivered everything, we wanted to make sure that we cleaned all of the "junk" out of his room so that we could get it painted. We decided to go with two wall colors with the facing wall sharing the same color. We took his bedding with us to the local Lowes store to make sure we got the exact colors that we wanted. We settled on "dusty yellow" and "guacamole". We brought home all the supplies and over the next week, we spent most of our free time getting the room ready. I started by putting a fresh coat of white paint on the ceiling and installing a ceiling fan. After that, Laura and I worked together putting down a coat of primer than two coats of paint on each wall. We finished up by repainting the closet doors, room door, and window trim. We completed it near the end of January, just in time for his furniture to be delivered on February 3rd. Now we're working on all the final decorating to make his room is extra special. Once that's done, I'll update the blog with photos.
Amidst all the happiness of getting everything ready for Zachary, there was also a tiny bit of sadness. A while ago, Laura and I talked about whether she would like to go back to work or not after we bring Zachary home. Because our journey towards parenthood has been a long one, we knew that we wanted to be there as much as possible to experience every part of Zachary's life. After discussing it in depth, we decided that the best choice for us as a family was for Laura to be a stay-at-home mom. At the end of January, she decided that her last day at work would be April 10th. It was a bittersweet moment when she gave her notice to her district manager. Even though she was sad that she was losing a job that she had loved for over 8 years, she knew she was gaining so much more with our son.
As the reality of the referral continued to sink in, we realized that there were a lot of items that we would need in order to take care of Zachary when we bring him home. We made several visits to a couple of baby stores and did a lot of research in our Baby Bargains book so that we could figure out what we needed. We had a lot of fun registering for all the essentials (and also some fun items) as we imagined what it would be like to have Zachary with us. At the same time, our close friend Candy started planning for our family baby shower that will take place in just two weeks on March 21st.
During the last two months, we also received a couple of updates that provide information about Zachary's development. In some ways it can be sad to see this information because we know we're not there to witness and share in all of his progress, but it also brings us so much joy to read about his accomplishments. Each report is another connection between us. The first report was written on January 15th. It started out with information about his height (24 inches) and weight (17.2 pounds) from late December. His development is going well. Here are some of the more interesting comments:
- Lifts up chest lightly if laid on tummy and pushes around the entire room
- Sits up briefly if helped to sit but falls sideways soon
- Keeps standing with good force in legs if helped to stand and tries to bounce up and down
- Laughs and giggles when he feels good
- Recognizes his bottle and likes (that's evident based on the pictures of our chubby little man)
- Does not sleep deeply during the day and frets before going to sleep (this may be our biggest challenge when he comes home)
On top of the updates, we also received another photo of him. As I said earlier, we sent a care package to him at the beginning of February. When we received his photo, we knew that the care package was received because the picture was of him, his foster mother (this was our first chance to see a picture of her), and his "exploration" of the items in the package.
The first thing we noticed in the picture was the wonderful smile of his foster mother. You can just see the pride and happiness in her face. I know that when we travel to Korea and she has to say good-bye to Zachary, it's going to be an extremely emotional time for everybody.
We ended up this week as we celebrated the Lunar New Year at a local Korean church. The celebration was supposed to occur in February but was rescheduled to yesterday due to the blizzard we experienced in February. It ended up being a perfect day. We decided to invite Laura's brother so that we could share a little bit of the Korean culture with him. The celebration was organized by a group called Korean Focus. The group promotes Korean culture with a focus on the Korean-American and adoptive family communities in the Washington DC area.
As soon as we arrived, we felt right at home. There were many adoptive families with Korean born children. We could imagine what it will be like when we bring Zachary in future years. We started by mingling with everybody, getting to know some of the families. Zachary quickly became the topic of discussion as Laura shared her "brag book" with his photos. Even Uncle Pat got involved as he kept suggesting that we share Zachary's pictures with anybody that was interested. It was wonderful experiencing the joy and excitement of family, friends, and total strangers. It's amazing to have so much support.
We enjoyed some Korean food for lunch, then went to watch the opening ceremonies which included both the Korean and American national anthems, a Korean traditional fan dance, and a Korean pop music dance performance. After the opening ceremonies, we decided to explore all of the activities that were offered. We learned about Sebae which is a New Year's bow that is performed to elders to show respect. A little 3 year old girl dressed in a traditional hanbok performed the bow and wished us a happy new year (speaking in Korean). She was so cute!!! After that, we went to see Korean calligraphy. We told them our American names and they wrote them for us in Hangul (the Korean alphabet). We also asked them to write Zachary's Korean name (Se-hun) which led us to sharing his pictures with a Korean woman. When she saw him, she got very emotional and thanked us repeatedly for sharing the pictures with her. As she handed the pictures back to Laura, she bowed, kissed the photo book, and thanked us. We could tell it really meant a lot to her. We're not sure if she had a previous experience with adoption or if she was just thankful that a child of her heritage was going to be loved and cared for. It was a very emotional moment that we didn't expect to experience but will always remember.
As you can see, the last two two months have been filled with wonderful chaos. We continue to stay busy getting ready for the big changes that will come and hope that in another two months we'll be travelling to see Zachary to bring him home.
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